Friday, June 26, 2009

Kisah Pokok Cherry...

Aku menerima pengkisahan ini dari teman dan lucu sekali.
Buat yang faham bahasa Inggeris tu sudi-sudilah baca.
Pada yang kurang tu faham-fahamkan aje lah...

Legend has it that George Washington, America 's first president,
chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. The story goes that George
gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe.
His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who
did the deed. George is quoted as bravely admitting the truth:
'I can't tell a lie. Pa, you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my axe.'

Below is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008
may have reacted to the question:

Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
'I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.'

Najib Razak
'I swear that I have never MET that tree.'

Hishammuddin Hussein Onn
'...but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree?'

Dr Mahathir Mohamad
'Apa nama cherry tree, yes, I chopped it down because I don't like
the idea of Pak Lah sleeping under it.'

Chua Soi Lek
'Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.'

VK Lingam
'It could be me, it might have been me, but I don't think it's me.'

Anwar Ibrahim
'I did NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA sample for you to
plant on the axe handle.'

Mohd Khir Toyo
'The new state government should just trim the grass and not waste
time asking who cut the tree.'

Ahmad Said ( Terengganu MB )
'I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain
than durian trees.'

Azalina Othman
'The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it
down and besides there were unauthorised signboards put up
around the tree.'

Shabery Cheek
'I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.'

S Samy Velu
'I chopped it because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point.'

Wira Ali Rustam
'We have planted durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for
another 50 years. We do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear
trees and all these other foreign trees.'

Rais Yatim
'You must see the bigger picture. Ahmad Said said cherry trees
are expensive to maintain. Ali Rustam said they are against our
national identity. And I needed to test my new axe. So, you see,
it is a WIN-WIN situation all around.'

Sharir Samad
'I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidise it.'

Karpal Singh
'The bigfoot creature did it.'

Bung Mokhtar
'The big monkey did it.'

Pandikar Amin Mulia
'There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping
cherry trees.... Kinabatangan duduk! Bukit Gelugor duduk!'

Khairy Jamaluddin
I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way,
what's a cherry tree?'

Lim Kit Siang
'Cherry tree also you don't know. You are an insult to Oxford !'

Nazri Abdul Aziz
'Racist, racist, racist! When we cut down durian trees nobody
made a fuss. Now...'

Malaysian Citizens
'Oh for heavens sake! Somebody plant something before we all
starve to death!'

Pemancing Yang Berjaya..

Suatu petang yang hening. Ketika itu awan baru sahaja menurunkan hujan selebat-lebatnya. Kelihatan seorang tua sedang duduk di tepi lopak air memegang pancing tidak lupa sambil merokok.

Masyarakat sekeliling memerhatikan dengan penuh kehairanan. Ada yang bersimpati dengan nasib si Tua itu dan ada juga yang mentertawakan dia. Biasalah manusia. Tak boleh tengok perkara pelik sikit. Nabil memerhatikan si Tua itu dengan penuh rasa belas dan simpati. Beliau pun menghampiri si Tua itu untuk berbual.

"Pakcik...pakcik ni memancing untuk apa?"

"Untuk makan..."

"Ooh, macam tu. Beginilah pakcik. Meh ikut saya makan. Saya belanja."

Mulanya Si Tua itu berdolak-dalik maklumlah tak kenal. namun Nabil terus memujuk si Tua tu. Si Tua itu malu-malu dan akhirnya akur dengan paksaan Nabil.

Sedang asyik menguyah makanan. Nabil bertanya kembali.

"Pakcik mancing kat lopak air tadi tu ada ke ikan?"

"Wooii ada, buleh la tahan"

"Biar betul pakcik nie. Dah berapa ekor dapat?"

"Kamu yang kelima"

Sebelum dan Selepas...

Sebelum kahwin..
I cintakan u
Selepas kahwin...
U ada cinta orang lain ke?

Sebelum Kahwin...
Taman Bunga I hadiahkan u
Selepas kahwin...
Sekuntum bunga pun haram tak nampak!

Sebelum Kahwin...
U lah yang pertama dan terakhir
Selepas kahwin...
Boleh I kahwin satu lagi??

Sebelum kahwin...
Nanti kita honeymoon kat UK
Selepas kahwin...
Kita round-round kat Ulu Kelang je la

Sebelum kahwin...
Kalau dapat anak nak namakan apa?
Selepas lama kahwin...
Bila nak dapat anak ni????

Sebelum kahwin...
U pandai cairkan hati I
Selepas kahwin...
U pandai cairkan duit I!!

Sebelum kahwin...
elok kita kahwin awal
Selepas kahwin...
Menyesal kahwin awal!!!!

Sebelum kahwin...
Saving abang dah cukup untuk kahwin
Selepas kahwin...
Saving ni dah boleh kahwin satu lagi!

Sebelum kahwin...
I nak anak kembar darling
Selepas kahwin...
Boleh lawan ARSENAL siap reserve player lagi!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

"Love is rarer than genius itself.
And friendship is rarer than love."

-Charles Peguy

Thank you to Mr Shukri & Mrs Eta for hosting the
great AD82 Potluck gathering. We cherished every
second blending and merinating the true love among us,
hardened it and embeded it into our heart forever.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Humblest Expresssionists...

Ismail Latiff ... one of the country's most experienced abstract expressionists and a friend too, whom you will be thrill whenever he talks about his artistic and mystical journey. Even more thrill than just his story...when you owned one or two of his work!

This is one of my collections...a special gift from Ismail Latiff.